The holiday season is upon us and millions of boys and girls around the world are writing out their wishlists in the hopes that Santa Claus brings them everything they want. And footballers are no different. The following is a compilation of Zlatan Ibrahimovic's most desired items.

Attention fat man — these are the things I require this Zlatanmas:

-For everyone to buy my book, I am Zlatan, and worship it as the holy scripture that it is.

-A European Cup.

-A blanket with sleeves.

-To continue being Zlatan.

-A new teammate to kick.

-For Pep Guardiola to live forever and get food poisoning every day for the rest of his life.

-For Shakira to be sucked into a black hole and never return to this planet again.

-A €25 Amazon gift card.

-A new Tamagotchi.

-The Batman suit that has nipples on it (movie quality).

-For Pep Guardiola to win the lottery and then find out that the prize is malaria.

-A second blanket with sleeves.

-The sun. I want to own it.